“Sleep is the best meditation.” – Dalai Lama

I had no idea how having my first child, Cynthia, would affect my sleep. Lacking knowledge of the importance of stellar sleep schedules and bedtime routines resulted in extreme fatigue. I thought maybe I could catch up on my sleep by the time she turned six months. Exhausted after six months, I revised my initial judgement. After Cynthia turned two, I resigned myself to the idea that I would never catch up on my sleep. It wasn’t until a few days after she turned three that I woke up one day rested.  I finally caught up on my sleep. Establishing a stellar sleep schedule and bedtime routine early would have been an immense help.

Navigating a stellar sleep schedule and bedtime routine can be stressful. Kids claim they are not tired as their eyelids blink with exhaustion. They become combative when asked to put on pajamas and brush their teeth. Children have an innate energy that drives them to play ever more despite the need for sleep. We will be discussing the importance of a healthy sleep schedule as well as a few tips to make the necessary routine an enjoyable one.

Guidelines for Children’s Sleep

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) agree on the guidelines outlining the recommended sleep duration for infants, toddlers, preteens, and teens. They are as follows:

• Infants four months to twelve months should sleep 12 to 16 hour a day (including naps)
• Toddlers one to two years old should sleep 11 to 14 hours a day (including naps)
• Children three to five years old should sleep 10 to 13 hours a day (including naps)
• Children six to twelve years old should sleep 9 to 12 hours a day
• Teenagers thirteen to eighteen years old should sleep 8 to 10 hours a day

Blue Light Effects on Sleep

“Brush, Book, Bed” is the AAP program’s suggested nightly routine. In addition to their recommendations, the AAP suggests, “All screens be turned off thirty minutes before bedtime and that TV, computers and other screens not be allowed in children’s bedrooms.” This is recommended due to the over-stimulation caused by screens. The goal for all stellar sleep schedule and bedtime routines is to calm the child’s energy levels in order to prepare and relax them for restorative sleep.

The National Sleep Foundation offers a brief and adequate explanation of how and why screen time before bed negatively impacts our quality of sleep. Electronic screens emit a blue light that affects levels of melatonin. Melatonin is a hormone, primarily released in the pineal gland, that regulates the sleep-wake cycle. The pineal gland releases melatonin a few hours before sleep, however, this process is stunted when exposed to blue light. Blue light  is composed of short wavelengths. These short wavelengths affect the body differently than light with higher wavelengths.

Dim red nightlights are preferable at bedtime because they do not suppress the release of melatonin, in contrast to LED and blue lighting. The suppression of melatonin makes it more difficult to enter into REM sleep. Rapid eye movement occurs when our bodies are dreaming & we all want our kiddos to experience the wonder of imaginative dreams. Turning off screens around sunset is a sound solution to this issue and will provide a more restful sleep.

Eating Before Bed and Brushing Teeth

Sleep is crucial for early childhood development. It is important to maintain a routine that ensures children’s needs. A critical part of this winding-down process is to stop eating two to three hours before bed. This includes snacks. Eating before bed spikes metabolism, makes it more difficult to fall asleep, and forces our body to work harder to digest food while we sleep.

Another essential in every bedtime routine is making sure children brush their teeth properly. Pediatric sleep consultant, Becca Campbell, suggests brushing your children’s teeth for them until they are able to tie their shoes. Children’s motor skills take time to develop. It is difficult for toddlers and young children to adequately use a toothbrush. If left to their own devices, little ones will not brush their teeth well and their oral health will suffer. At the point which children are able to tie their shoes, they are likely to properly brush every tooth. Campbell’s full discussion over this process and more is provided at the end of this article.

Use this part of the routine to explain what you are doing and why. Teach your children every time you brush their teeth that it is extremely important to brush the front, top, and back of each tooth. Kids love visuals. Two-minute sand timers are the perfect addition to this routine. Have your child begin the sand timer so they can watch it fill as you explain that we must brush our teeth twice a day for at least two minutes to avoid getting cavities.

Bedtime Stories

After all of this, we promote tucking the kiddos in bed and finishing the day with bedtime stories. Netsil’s Journey to Planet Nybor was written with the intention of being a bedtime story. Several moments from the book include characters taking deep breaths in and out. Both caregiver and child can practice this mindful relaxation along with the characters. This can help calm the body as they nestle in for rest. It also gives you an opportunity to slow down and take a deep breath as well.

Cynthia’s Tips

Cynthia, now a mother of my three grandsons, has mastered the art of bedtime and created stellar sleep schedules and bedtime routine.  She has offered to share her technique with us. I am in awe of her ability to make delightful what many, including myself, find so difficult. Here’s how she does it:  

Starting around 6 months of age (or any time after – the older, the more difficult – but not impossible), establish the following routine:

• Bath time (optional)
• Brush teeth (dependent on age)
• Put on pajamas
• Read stories
• Turn down lights (the darker, the better – black out curtains are best)
• Sing while rocking as your baby drinks milk (nursing/bottle/cup)
• Lay the child in their bed gently rubbing their back as you whisper good night  (preferable before they are asleep)
• Quietly leave the room closing the door behind you

Sounds simple, but this routine will initially bring crying or fussiness before settling into sleep. Cynthia’s guidelines for responding are as follows:

• Allow your child to fuss or cry for 5 minutes (sobbing is an exception – sobbing allows for immediate response)
• After 5 minutes:
  • quietly go into their bedroom (do not pick them up)
  • rub their back to calm them
  • once calm, whisper good night as you leave the room

This pattern can be repeated by increasing the time frame between bedroom visits by 5 minutes each time. For example: after putting them in bed the first time, wait 5 minutes before going back in the second time, then wait 10 minutes before returning the 3rd time. Wait 15 minutes before going back into their room the 4th time, and then 20 minutes before returning the 5th time. Continue this as needed. Again, sobbing allows for immediate response to calm them with a soothing back rub.  

The key to success with these guidelines is consistency. Establishing a consistent routine early will provide restful nights for both parents and child.  

Family and Self-Care

Including other family members in the process can make this routine more pleasant. Older siblings may enjoy reading or listening with the youngest child. This creates a joyful reading routine for all your children. Older siblings may continue to play or read quietly as you take the youngest child for their milk and rocking before putting them to bed. 

Of course our children’s needs are extremely important, but we must not forget ourselves. Not only is a proper bedtime routine necessary for children’s development, but for our mental health as well. Caregivers have one of the toughest jobs on Planet Earth! The more we take care of ourselves, the better we can take care of our children. Adults need their sleep just as much as the little ones. The sooner we can establish a working bedtime routine for our kids, the sooner we can catch some Z’s.

If you have any comments, questions, or suggestions, please contact us! We want to embark on an open dialogue from which we can all draw and learn.

– Robyn Weible & Grace Pavlovec

Episode 32: The Ideal Toddler Bedtime Routine

Becca Campbell, Your Pediatric Sleep Consultant! We learned so much from this podcast. It is short & sweet and full of incredibly helpful tips & tricks.

Works Cited & Additional Resources

“American Academy of Pediatrics Supports Childhood Sleep Guidelines.” AAP.org, 13 June 2016, www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/Pages/American-Academy-of-Pediatrics-Supports-Childhood-Sleep-Guidelines.aspx.

“Brain May Flush out Toxins during Sleep.” National Institutes of Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 17 Sept. 2015, www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/brain-may-flush-out-toxins-during-sleep.

“Brush, Book, Bed: How to Structure Your Child’s Nighttime Routine.” HealthyChildren.org, www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/oral-health/Pages/Brush-Book-Bed.aspx/.

Campbell, Becca. “Little Z’s Sleep Podcast.” 32: The Ideal Toddler Bedtime Routine, littlezsleep.libsyn.com/website/32-the-ideal-toddler-bedtime-routine.

“How and Why Using Electronic Devices at Night Can Interfere With Sleep.” National Sleep Foundation, www.sleepfoundation.org/articles/why-electronics-may-stimulate-you-bed.

“Sleep.” Gastrointestinal Society, 30 Nov. 2016, badgut.org/information-centre/a-z-digestive-topics/sleep/.

Sleep AdvisorLast Updated On January 2. “Should You Eat Just Before Bed? – All The Risks Explained.” The Sleep Advisor, 2 Jan. 2020, www.sleepadvisor.org/eat-just-before-bed-risks/.

“Why Do We Sleep, Anyway?” Why Do We Sleep, Anyway? | Healthy Sleep, 18 Dec. 2007. healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/matters/benefits-of-sleep/why-do-we-sleep.

Yeager, Ashley. “Evening Screen Time Can Sabotage Sleep.” Science News for Students, 1 Nov. 2017, www.sciencenewsforstudents.org/article/evening-screen-time-can-sabotage-sleep.